Finding Freedom with Food: Lex Daddio's Story (Daddio's Kitchen) (45)

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:38:01

Unknown

This week, I get to share a conversation with my oldest friend Lex Daddio of Daddio's Kitchen about finding freedom with food. Lex shares about how a technology fluke turned her Instagram into her livelihood, her journey with an eating disorder and parenting How to help your kids have a Healthy relationship with Food. This episode is full of some childhood love and a lot of vulnerability, and if hearing people talk about eating disorders is triggering for you, I want you to go ahead, skip this episode. You can find another one in our queue to listen to.

00:00:38:01 - 00:01:22:12

Unknown

Hi everyone, and welcome to How the Wise One Grows. So I am all kinds of jumpy today because I have my childhood best friend sitting across the table from me, so I really need to take a moment to breathe. So just take a moment to settle in wherever you are and if it feels safe for you, you can gently rest.

00:01:22:12 - 00:01:58:03

Unknown

Your eyes are soft in your gaze at a point in front of you and notice where your body touches the earth. I know that you can come back to this sensation Any time that you lose focus or your attention drifts and take a big breath and then a big breath out. Inhale. Fill your chest, fill your belly with air.

00:01:58:03 - 00:02:29:17

Unknown

Exhale. Open your mouth, let it out. One more big inhale and exhale and return to the sensation of your body touching the earth. And you can slowly open your eyes as you return to this space. Thanks for landing here with me. Welcome. Thanks for having me. So I'm so excited because today we have Lex, Daddio, you can call me.

00:02:29:22 - 00:02:58:11

Unknown

It is hard to call you because this is like my oldest childhood friend. Preschool days. Yeah, preschool is probably my very first friend. Yes. Yeah, My Alexis used to like it. Oh, minus Nikki, but minus Nikki in case she listens. Hey Nikki! My mom ran a preschool out of our garage growing up, and Alexis came to the preschool and she would, I mean, I was spoiled because the literal best preschool ever.

00:02:58:11 - 00:03:17:05

Unknown

It was so fun. But Alexis would, like, bring We were so into kittens. I don't know how both of us just always had, I don't know, growing so many kittens, but she would bring kittens into my bed to wake me up in the morning. Yeah, yeah, it's. I woke up to like the kitten. Kitten kisses. Yeah. Those are the days.

00:03:17:10 - 00:03:48:08

Unknown

Yes. So that's how I know Lexie. Yes. So you can call me like. Yeah, I'll try Lexie. But for those of you who know her through Instagram as Restoring Radiance and Daddy O's kitchen, today we have Lex Daddio. So if you followed their Instagram from the beginning, Lex started the Instagram story and Radiant Radiance back in 2014. It was a rough time in her life, and she started it as a personal food and exercise journal when she was going through an eating disorder.

00:03:48:08 - 00:04:07:16

Unknown

Her Instagram went through so many changes I believe was an accident, right, that it became public. Yeah, I actually just like totally a secret forever. And then and yet you keep going. We'll go back and restore radiance will always have a special place in her heart because she has had to go through the darkness to get to where she is now.

00:04:08:13 - 00:04:33:22

Unknown

We firmly believe that exposing your darkness into the light is one of the first steps to truly healing through recovery and so many life changes. She fell in love with baking after making her first homemade chocolate chip cookie recipe cookie recipe in May 2022. She can't stop creating baked goods now. Here we are. She changed the original name to Instagram, been to Daddy's Kitchen, and now it's a family affair.

00:04:33:22 - 00:05:11:08

Unknown

And it's really fun because there you see Thomas, who's her wonderful husband, a great cook, and also author of a new book called Cookie Day. Right. Times book. So cool. And you see her three boys, like I have still mind blowing the most fun the last time I was at your house because I don't know if I told you this even, but like as I was playing with Thomas and, like, little T, Yeah, a little D and like, we were in the treehouse, and I was just, like, having a moment of like, Oh, I know how to play with you because, like, I played with your mom and stage was like, I could feel

00:05:11:08 - 00:05:30:19

Unknown

it's so fun and it felt like I was playing with you and I loved you because you went on the slide and you played. He's like, She's fun. Fun for you to come back. Yes, you do. He loved you. But now you have three boys. Yes. And how old is Roman now? So they're for two.

00:05:30:19 - 00:05:46:15

Unknown

And then Roman is going to be nine months in. Oh, my gosh. It's a wild ride. It is a wild ride. They are like the best thing ever. And I know one day they'll treat me like a queen because I have all boys. But they are wild. Oh, my gosh. It's like if we have another boy, it'll be like, I am just going to fully embrace a boy, mom.

00:05:46:15 - 00:06:05:00

Unknown

But I'm just going to be like. Like you. All right? Yeah. Straight up, boy. Mom, there's no going back. And, yeah, it'll be fun. I love it. Do you mind sharing a bit about how her story and radiance started and kind of what you were going through during that time and then the transition into Daddy as kitchen A little bit.

00:06:05:01 - 00:06:25:16

Unknown

Yeah. I'll try not to make it long, but basically started back in 2014, so it's been like nine years. So a third of my life, which is wild when you think about it that way. Right? And so basically started as touring Radiance. When I was in college, I started using Instagram. It was before anybody did like Instagram was just starting.

00:06:25:16 - 00:06:46:17

Unknown

So it wasn't like there were no businesses there, you know what I mean? People just like, you know, out having your day. I would literally show my breakfast, lunch and dinner. But it was when I was getting into like healthy food air quotes because everybody's different talking about the business. But I was getting into just more worrying about nutrition or whatever, but I was also going through an eating disorder.

00:06:46:17 - 00:07:07:17

Unknown

So it was kind of like and it was private. It was my personal food and exercise journal for me to literally post like my breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was almost like an accountability journal. There are some apps that function. Yeah, yeah. Literally, I'm pretty sure I had like an app and that and I was doing both and it was just kind of like my way of trying to like, see the light through it, like to get through it kind of.

00:07:07:17 - 00:07:23:20

Unknown

It was just like my own reflection, I guess. Like, like in a journal. Yeah. And anyway, one day then it did get to the point where like a couple of girls were kind of doing it and I started following them. They followed me and we just became like this little community. And then one day I accidentally made it public.

00:07:23:20 - 00:07:41:05

Unknown

I don't know what I was messing with the settings, I don't know what I did. And all I know is that my roommate came and knocked on my door and they're like, What is this thing you're doing? Because it was that time where like Instagram would say, like, Oh, your friend Alexis Phillips at the time just joined Instagram as Daniel's care, whatever, restoring radiance.

00:07:41:05 - 00:07:59:04

Unknown

And they're like, What is this that you've been doing under our roof? And we did. And now like, yeah, just like I was just like sharing food, whatever. And I was mortified, mortified because I look, first of all, I was like, scared to even eat food. I was petrified of food because I was like food was just like a very scary thing for me at the time.

00:07:59:04 - 00:08:13:12

Unknown

Just like it was just like, all negative. It was just like a bad thing to me because it was the way I like, you know, harm to myself through binge eating. And so anyway, so then I remember I saw one boy, a guy on campus, that I hung out with, and he was like, Wow, I follow your Instagram.

00:08:13:12 - 00:08:33:18

Unknown

And I was like, oh, like, oh, I'm not, I'm not. I'm literally just freaking out. It just died inside and oh my gosh, it was so scary. And then just like, for some reason, I don't know what kept me going, but I just kept doing it and there were so many times I'm like, I'm done out.

00:08:33:23 - 00:08:46:23

Unknown

Like, done. It's taking up too much time. Some people would see, like, Why are you spending so much time doing this? Like a hobby? I mean, I was making money or anything. It was just like literally and I was spending a lot of time doing it. But sometimes I get really focused on something I like and can't focus on anything else.

00:08:46:23 - 00:09:05:10

Unknown

And so I was like a one shot brain right then. Anyway, through the years I ended up keeping it and just kind of told the story of my eating disorder through it. There was one point where I finally really opened up and told the story and just like an influx of people came back telling me like, Oh my gosh, I deal with this too, where I deal with disorder, all this stuff.

00:09:05:10 - 00:09:26:22

Unknown

And so we just like really connected from there and just like people just started following like crazy and I was like, Oh my God, it was just so mind blowing. I was just like, Why would people want to follow me? Like, and I don't like the term follow because I don't want you actually. I just want it to be like a place of light and like inspiration, but not like telling you, like, buy this or do this or, you know, go here.

00:09:26:22 - 00:09:45:17

Unknown

What? Like, I just hope it's a place where everyone feels welcome and it's like, just like a safe place, like a light in the darkness of the app where a lot of it can be very dark on there. And so I just pray that we can be a light in the darkness of it all. But anyways, I just kept going and then I got married.

00:09:45:23 - 00:10:06:13

Unknown

And so people that have followed me from the beginning have seen so many life changes. But got married to Thomas, who I've known since I was seven, and you've known forever too, which is funny. Growing up, Alexis was always in love, like everyone. You were probably like five, like my cats after him. Yeah. Thomas, Joseph and my brother told me You're not going to love him forever.

00:10:06:13 - 00:10:25:22

Unknown

You need to change them. So I was like I said, I 'm sorry. Well, you were wrong. He was wrong. He was wrong. And I proved them wrong, but I needed them. My second love, Ben Jerry's ice cream. So it's fine, but I still proved them wrong. And now my son is named Thomas Joseph. So there we go. But anyway, so basically I kept it.

00:10:25:22 - 00:10:45:04

Unknown

And just then I think it was I actually don't know what year the company started reaching out. I wasn't married yet, so I think he was 27. Yeah, I think it was right when I moved back from Nashville. I remember like I slept over with you one night and you, like, had all these all these products. You're like, I don't know what I'm doing.

00:10:45:04 - 00:11:05:03

Unknown

I didn't and I don't. I'm not. John Never center. But yeah, that was like when companies like can we send you this can send you this, we send you this. And I was like, Oh my gosh, You're like, They're just sending me products for free. I'm like, Why? I don't know. But sure, we barely get products anymore because we just like, say no to like everything unless it's something we really love or we just buy it ourselves, just like it just is so overwhelming.

00:11:05:03 - 00:11:20:02

Unknown

And now they expect so much out of you and it's like, unless I really genuinely love the product, I'm not going to like it, just say yes. So we just get so many people coming in asking for stuff. But you can also discover some really cool products through it. Yeah. And just things and stuff and people's businesses.

00:11:20:02 - 00:11:41:22

Unknown

And so we like to support people we can't especially like local and stuff when we can. But yeah, there's a lot of stuff. But anyways, so yeah, so I think companies are reaching out around 20, I would say 16, 17 maybe. And then I just remember like our first, my first paid post, which I think was like $100 or like 50, but might have been 50 bucks Either way.

00:11:42:13 - 00:12:03:00

Unknown

It was wild and it was just like people would pay me to share their product. This is so wild. Anyway, long story short. So then that's kind of where we got and how it moved more into sharing food products and working with brands and stuff because that just kind of grew and whatever. And then in May, Thomas and I got married in 2018, and then so many times I was like, I'm going to quit.

00:12:03:00 - 00:12:14:20

Unknown

I'm going to quit, I'm going to quit. And he just kept saying, Just stay on. Say. And I'm like, I don't know, why do we have this thing? Like, I don't know why. Why are we here? Why are we a part of it? Because honestly, if I didn't have this, I don't know if I would even be on social media.

00:12:15:05 - 00:12:32:16

Unknown

Yeah, which is a funny thing because I actually, like, don't I try to stay off more? And so it's just funny because your personal account is like, Yeah, seldom touch. Yeah, barely. I was like, I think I posted a photo of the boys on Christmas and I was like, oh, like probably my yearly photo or my quarterly photo.

00:12:32:21 - 00:12:49:11

Unknown

But yeah, I probably just like to be there very much personally. But there is some really cool stuff you can find. And especially like, yeah, I mean there's some amazing things. Yeah, it's a double edged sword. Exactly. There's some amazing people out there and really cool things to follow. But anyway, I digress. I'm going all over the place.

00:12:49:18 - 00:13:13:05

Unknown

But anyways, so basically got married and then Thomas decided to quit his job in 2019. So things were going really well. Honestly, it was probably a mistake on our end. We've been reflecting back on this now because we didn't really have a plan and like where we had it and where we were going with it, it was just like, Oh, this seems like this is working and maybe we should like, go all in.

00:13:13:07 - 00:13:32:03

Unknown

Yeah, well, we had one child and we weren't really planning for the future or like thinking ahead. We were buying our first house and living in like eight different areas, eight different places. We were buying our house and we quit and we had big plans to do YouTube and all this stuff and it just never happened.

00:13:32:03 - 00:13:46:23

Unknown

And honestly, I think if we were to do YouTube ever, it would probably be now we would. I would love to do it, but just not quite yet. Just because I feel like I need a little more consistency and time in our life with the kids. And I do want to add another thing on our plate at the moment.

00:13:46:23 - 00:14:09:16

Unknown

But anyway, so then 2020 I think is when we changed the name to Dallas Kitchen and it was so crazy. It was like I had dealt with my eating disorder for so long and through Instagram, not it didn't heal me, but like through the time of Instagram, getting married, just as the years went on, like so much healing happened.

00:14:09:19 - 00:14:34:14

Unknown

And like, still today, I feel like I'm healing and not even as much of a relationship with food. But like I had stomach problems for a really long time and like a lot of girls do that dealt with eating disorders and like, my stomach was still like a wreck until honestly, like last year. And this is the first year of my life where I feel like I actually, like, feel totally healed and like, comfortable like I was just like, in pain for so long.

00:14:34:14 - 00:14:50:03

Unknown

Those almost like years of, like the hurt done to my body that I was like, almost paying for in a way. Yeah. Because they say your gut health is really. Exactly. And they say it can really take as long as you have an eating disorder, it can take to heal. And I had it for like seven years.

00:14:50:05 - 00:15:09:21

Unknown

So yeah, we're not even fully seven years yet, but it's crazy because it's crazy to me how I don't even think about food the way I used to. And so all that has just happened throughout and I don't have like a ten step, here's how to heal, because I really think it's very individualized. I feel like you can't do that.

00:15:09:21 - 00:15:40:01

Unknown

I also feel like by the grace of God, I was healed through it all. And it took so much time and so much change and just like different things in my life that happened. And like having kids really helped me in the time some others might not like. It might be harder, you know. So it's I think it's just all I know is that I feel for anybody dealing with it because it is like it is like so it takes all of your brain capacity, it takes all of your mental.

00:15:40:05 - 00:16:04:01

Unknown

You can't even like I couldn't. I don't even feel like I could even like to see anybody outside of my own head, if that makes sense. Like I was incapable of like being a friend, of helping others, of, like, even because I was so self focused on myself, because I was just, like, really struggling, that everything was so inward that I had any I couldn't even like, I feel like I was like I had blinders on, like I couldn't even see anybody's needs outside of my own.

00:16:04:02 - 00:16:23:21

Unknown

Yeah. Which probably is why kids really, like, opened my eyes to being like, whoa, But then throwing or having through that time. Just so we ended up changing to Daddy as kitchen as we moved into, like us wanting to cook. Thomas has always been an incredible cook and the most intuitive type of eater I've ever met in my entire life.

00:16:23:21 - 00:16:41:04

Unknown

And he used to study the way he eats. I was like, You are such a weirdo. I have never seen anybody eat the way you do. Like he literally could eat so much at one time and I would be like, that would be a pinch for me. Yeah, but like, it was so normal for him and it was like it wasn't like he wasn't over eating.

00:16:41:04 - 00:16:59:17

Unknown

He wasn't uncomfortable. It was just like he would have days where he didn't eat a lot and days where he ate a lot more. And it was like, I don't understand. Yeah, like that is what makes it so folk like, so like I think we often treat it like eating and diet like, like a machine like I charge like for this song or like exact lines, but it's like where people.

00:16:59:17 - 00:17:13:16

Unknown

Yeah, Yeah. And it's going to be like, my kids have taught me that some days they're starving and they want to eat all day. And other days, I mean, they barely touch their food and I'm like, Oh, my mind is blown. Like it's just so wild. And it's just like, that's just the way they were born.

00:17:13:18 - 00:17:27:23

Unknown

Yeah. And it's so cool, actually, because I feel like all that's really, like, opened my eyes. I haven't even really thought about it in forever because I'm just like, used to like, you're in it. Yeah, I'm just in it. I just haven't even thought about it, but it is really cool. And so Thomas has always been a really good cook.

00:17:27:23 - 00:17:44:22

Unknown

Like since the beginning when we got married, he never really cooked much. I didn't know he was going to be cooked all the time. College. I tried to cook and I got married and I'm good at it. Okay. Like, and I just remember one time he made a meal and I was like, Why don't I cook? What am I doing?

00:17:44:22 - 00:17:58:12

Unknown

I've been trying to drum that day. I've handed it over to the thing. I mean, I can make certain things. And for that, yeah, I can make certain things for sure. But I'm really good at making. But he is when it comes to cooking, I mean he's just like a thousand times better. I think it's like a different personality type.

00:17:58:13 - 00:18:17:00

Unknown

Oh, and cooking. Like, I can't bake. I'm slowly measured, but cooking is like an experiment. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like. It's like a creative art. And baking, I guess, is your own creative art. But like, like, we're creating recipes and stuff that's like my own, like, type of art type thing, but like, I like when it's like, I follow a recipe and Thomas is the exact opposite.

00:18:17:00 - 00:18:34:12

Unknown

Yeah. So cooking and baking. Yeah. But anyway, so he can cook, he's incredible at it. So then it was like, well, we always, always used to talk through all of our meals. Like we would make these meals and I would share. I would show him making them. Now we don't have time for that anymore. And they're always told that flipping dirt, screaming in the background usually are running, which is fine, but it's kind of loud.

00:18:35:07 - 00:18:52:17

Unknown

And so we used to do that too, it was like people loved watching it. And so we kind of moved into Dad's kitchen. We decided to change it, and then that's when I fell in love with baking. Actually, I think it was 20. Yeah, it was right after. No, it was more nose burn April 2020 and I made my first chocolate chip cookie recipe.

00:18:52:17 - 00:19:11:20

Unknown

It was the first time I'd ever made a recipe on my own. Like I've only ever used recipes. And then I created one and it was like, whoa. It was like. It was like, I've made those chocolate chip cookies. It's a good thing. It was just kind of like an out of body, like, Whoa, I didn't know I could do that.

00:19:11:20 - 00:19:29:17

Unknown

Like, it was like. And from there, I just, like, caught a fire and like, I have been baking. Now I'm just, like, obsessed with all things our dough. And I make so much bread and stuff like that, and it's like, I just feel like it's such a way to, like, serve my family and love my family and, like, I can't cook great.

00:19:30:02 - 00:19:48:21

Unknown

I mean, I can cook fine. But I'm like, Thomas just is so much better. But like, baking and bread and stuff like that is such an easy way for me to serve them because they love it. It feeds them, makes them like just bringing us all back to the table and eating together and having family dinners and making that special breakfast and all of those things.

00:19:48:21 - 00:20:19:12

Unknown

And so anyway, long story short, this is my description here, 20 minutes and now our daddy is in the kitchen and we basically just kind of cook like we're actually kind of moving well, not really moving, but focusing more this year on like more back to the basics cooking. So like more traditional, like the way your grandma would make stuff and like, we've just been having so much fun, like using like real ingredients, like raw milk and like good butters and like homemade tomato and like more cooking from scratch type stuff.

00:20:19:19 - 00:20:42:15

Unknown

But also quick because we do have three kids. And so we understand, like everybody's kind of busy time crunch. Yeah, but, but like, kind of just like bringing us all back to the table and like, encouraging people to cook at home, even, like just to start and like, because I just feel like food is so community wise and this is like the way I all it's so like life giving, like a life around the table and like, talking.

00:20:42:16 - 00:21:00:03

Unknown

I feel like that's where the best conversations happen. And so just kind of trying to like, encourage people to get back to the table because that's what I've always prayed for and always liked, wanted in college. I always wanted to own a bakery. Really? Yes. But I was like, petrified of I would never I never eat sweets back in the day unless I binged on them Like that was it.

00:21:00:03 - 00:21:19:08

Unknown

It was like. So I was scared of them forever. And so now it's so cool to be on the other side of like, I don't like, they don't rule me anymore. Like, they don't like that I can make them and eat them and join them and move on. Like, whereas before it was like, I mean, one bite of a cookie was like a make it or break it of my day, which is like insane, but like on, on it.

00:21:19:08 - 00:21:44:00

Unknown

Yeah. So anyway, yeah, that's where we're at now. That's what our dad is. Kitchen. There's so many elements there that I want to come back to. But first of all, I think I really want to point out how with our story ingredients I think why it bloomed and just like flourish and people were drawn to it was because it was so vulnerable and so authentic.

00:21:44:00 - 00:22:00:19

Unknown

Yeah. And I think that's such a key component to healing is being able to like, share that and recognize that you're not alone in it. Oh, yeah. So like by sharing your story, I think having others be drawn to it could have impacted the healing and vice versa. Like that, for sure. Healing of others, I think for sure.

00:22:00:19 - 00:22:23:04

Unknown

I think for sure especially. Yeah, like I always say like light it like light exposes darkness. Yeah. That's what I always used to say backwards. Think that's right. So like bringing things into the light, like being vulnerable and talking to people, saying things like, letting people know, like letting people in. Because if it just sits and, you know, you don't tell anybody, it'll fester and grow and build.

00:22:23:04 - 00:22:38:17

Unknown

And it's like you have to tell something like just find one person that you can be comfortable telling. And for me, that was Thomas at the time. Yeah, but it just depends on who it is for. You would just like one person if you can tell them and talk them through. Like I just feel like you feel so alone in it.

00:22:38:17 - 00:22:56:14

Unknown

But then like really once you like, I think there's like a crazy statistic, it's something like 80%. I'm probably getting it wrong, but it's something very high of women deal with needs or I believe and it's like, Oh my gosh, Like when you think of it like that, it's like, you're not alone. No, I mean, and men do.

00:22:56:14 - 00:23:11:17

Unknown

Yeah. And it's like you are not alone. And it's like so many people deal with it, so such a spectrum of it. Like, I think. Yeah. And when you look, I mean, looking throughout the course of my life, I can point to times where, like, I wasn't as healthy with my relationship with food. Yeah. And like, oh, at this point I was.

00:23:11:17 - 00:23:33:01

Unknown

And it doesn't always reflect your weight either. No, I don't think I was most restrictive on myself when I weighed the most, you know. And I just think it's something that we don't talk about enough. But like most people, I think about it quite regularly. Yeah. Do you mind sharing what binge eating is? Yeah. That binge eating disorder is.

00:23:33:01 - 00:23:50:17

Unknown

Yeah. So essentially I went from like two ends of the spectrum. I went with like which this was not actually not a term when I was going through it, I actually didn't know. But Orthorexia is also like the obsession with eating healthy. Like to a point where it's unhealthy. Yeah, but so binge eating essentially is like I think they're different ends of the spectrum of it.

00:23:50:18 - 00:24:10:18

Unknown

So basically it's like when you literally stuff yourself to the point of like such discomfort that like, I mean, I would like eat until like I couldn't move, like I felt sick, I felt like I was going to throw up and I tried multiple times, but I never could get myself to do it. Yeah. So it's like it's basically almost like, yeah, like that's essentially it.

00:24:10:19 - 00:24:32:18

Unknown

Like, I just remember this, like, drive through, like. And I never really pass without driving through, like, fast food places and getting like, from multiple places. It was like, it was literally like, I was like stuffing my feelings to the point until I kind of feel. But I was so uncomfortable, I mean, I would just go back to my apartment or my, like, house and my girlfriends and lock the door and just like, watch Netflix for the rest of the night and then, like, plan out how I was going to be healthy.

00:24:32:18 - 00:24:50:11

Unknown

That way you can do it. Use guns and it was like it was so unhealthy, so like one extreme to the other. Yeah. And then that probably because of the unhealthiness in the back and forth, it was just cancer probably causing me to binge because I was starving after that. And it's like it doesn't have to be an unhealthy thing, but it was an unhealthy thing for me at the time.

00:24:50:11 - 00:25:07:01

Unknown

Yeah, but I was so obsessed with healthy eating. So then it was like if I did one thing outside of it, I would binge. Yeah. And so that was like it was like control on a level. Oh yeah. And there was a lot of life stuff going on at the time that made me feel very out of control and overwhelmed.

00:25:07:01 - 00:25:24:23

Unknown

And so it was like the one thing I could control. And so I like when all really controlled how I like all Yeah, yeah. So, and then I have heard you talk about and you talked about this with Thomas Little but intuitive eating a lot and that being a part of your healing. What is intuitive eating? Yeah. Is also a great question.

00:25:25:02 - 00:25:48:01

Unknown

So it's funny because I went, that was kind of part of my healing, like learning what intuitive eating is. And then now at this point I always like to say like I feel like at this point we're just like normal eaters. I think Intuitive was part of my healing journey and I'm not against intuitive eating at all, but it's essentially like getting back to the way that your body was made more of like eating like a child.

00:25:48:07 - 00:26:08:13

Unknown

Like they're so intuitive, like they know when they're hungry, they know when they're full. Like they then they eat when they're hungry and they eat and they stop when they're full. Like it's basically intuitive, eating is like getting back to the way your body should eat without any outside noises or voices telling you how you should eat.

00:26:08:13 - 00:26:23:14

Unknown

Well, on some level, it's like totally letting go of it is, oh, it is just body decided. This is not about the mind at that point. And I actually like studying less because it's actually like a thing. Yeah, but I studied it for a while and I think that was really like part of my job. It was, it was.

00:26:24:00 - 00:26:51:05

Unknown

So I had to go from total restriction and binging and that obsession to like letting go of it, everything. I mean, I had to let go of every food, food rule I ever knew. I had to let go of a certain type of way to eat. I mean, I had to just like, be okay. I had to, like, be okay with, like, eating cookies any time to get to the point now where it's like, I know, like, I just know the way my body functions.

00:26:51:05 - 00:27:07:21

Unknown

Like, I know what makes me feel good when I eat. I know, maybe, it doesn't feel as good on my stomach. And instead of now being, like, listening to the outside telling me like, Well, you shouldn't eat that you should usually that you should, it's more of like, Well, I want to eat this because that's going to make me feel good and give me enough energy to keep going to her the day with my kids.

00:27:08:01 - 00:27:19:20

Unknown

Whereas like, well, if I'm going to eat that, I might save it for later just because, like, it'll probably make me kind of tired. Yeah, you know, like a big piece of chocolate cake at like two in the afternoon, might make me kind of tired for the rest of the day, but maybe I'll have, like, a little bit after dinner, and then I'll like it.

00:27:20:01 - 00:27:34:09

Unknown

Yeah, go to sleep. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's just kind of like I've gone from, like, intuitive where it's like you have to just, like, let go of everything and be like, I can have a cookie right now. It's okay. I can have it no matter how it makes me feel because I need to understand that it's not restricted.

00:27:34:09 - 00:27:48:10

Unknown

Yeah. And then now it's kind of like where I am at the point where it's like, okay, yeah, that's fine. And that was part of the journey, but now it's kind of like, Well, I don't really want that right now. Yeah, you know what I mean? Whereas before I was like that, I had to let myself have it. Yeah. Because I needed to know I could have it.

00:27:48:10 - 00:28:09:11

Unknown

Yeah. I mean, that makes a lot of sense. Weird, but. And I think like that, like a lot of people tend to think with intuitive eating, like, Oh, then I'll just eat like, cookie cake all the time. Yeah. And maybe what I'm hearing you say too, is like, maybe at first that's true. But then over time you'll start to know what feels good.

00:28:09:11 - 00:28:23:14

Unknown

Yeah. And then your body will start to crave what feels good, not just in the short term, but in the long term. Yeah. To get you to do what you need. And yeah. And I think that's like a lot of people hindering the thought of dating because they're like, oh my gosh, I will just eat cookies and cake all day.

00:28:23:19 - 00:28:44:02

Unknown

And some people do, and that's no judgment zone. But like you most likely won't for long. Like, nobody's going to feel good eating cake all day. You know what I mean? But I think that what the middle ground of intuitive eating does is like between having the disorder. Like then I had no idea how I felt when I felt.

00:28:44:02 - 00:29:00:00

Unknown

I didn't know when I felt hungry. I didn't know when I felt full. I didn't know I was so out of tune with the way I felt. I had no idea. 18 wasn't even about that. No. And I didn't even know what felt good. I just. I just followed a certain pattern of, like, what I should eat, so to say.

00:29:00:05 - 00:29:21:17

Unknown

And I lived on literally like I was vegan for a time and I lived on like nuts and seeds and vegetables and now I barely nuts and seeds and like, I just like, I just like it so much more now than I've ever eaten and feel the best I've ever felt. Yeah, it's crazy. It's mind blowing. It's like I feel like I was so depleted of nutrients back then.

00:29:21:17 - 00:29:42:22

Unknown

I literally had no energy, no nothing. There was even a point where they told me that my iron in my stuff was so low there, I would never have children if I stayed the way I was. I lost my period for years. Yeah, I was like I was like, literally so depleted. Yeah. Enzo And it was. And again, that's so common.

00:29:42:22 - 00:30:01:01

Unknown

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. And like, even, like in the name of health, like, you know, I followed all this, like, again, just like, mostly vegetables and nuts, but like, that's just, like, not enough. Like, yeah, you know, like, I don't know. There's just so many things that I've added in recently that have made me feel so much better.

00:30:01:01 - 00:30:19:04

Unknown

Just like between raw milk and like, I always did not milk forever. And that's totally fine. Some people are great with that milk, but changing to raw milk has made me feel like a thousand times that I used to get such bad things. I have had no stomach aches for almost like a year. And I like going to every doctor and I am a naturopath everywhere.

00:30:19:04 - 00:30:35:19

Unknown

It was like I was constantly searching for what was going to fix me. And then like changing the way I ate and like adding more in and more carbs and more protein and more actually less veggies and more fruit has like made me feel a hundred times better. It's crazy. Yeah, I explain it, but it's I mean, it's.

00:30:35:21 - 00:30:54:23

Unknown

It's wild. Yeah. Like bodies change over time and the needs. Our bodies have evolved over time. And I think that is like listening to what pain is present. Yeah. That sometimes we're just so used to. Oh, my stomach always hurts when I live forever and Thomas was like, This is like, I can't deal with you like this.

00:30:55:04 - 00:31:10:21

Unknown

Yeah, like, it's like you got to like, something like, this is not normal. You need to understand, like, it's something you like. You got to do something. Yeah, because, like, we can't live like this. And I'm like, I know, but, like, it's just the only way I know. Yeah, it was like, the only way I knew for so long.

00:31:11:06 - 00:31:30:10

Unknown

I'm proud of you for being like, so brave to, like, completely throw away that rulebook. Because I think, like, I remember when I got to that, you know, like, people are so tightly wound upon, like, I have to have like this smoothie every morning and then like this for lunch. And if I don't like it, yeah, it's not okay.

00:31:30:12 - 00:31:54:03

Unknown

Yeah, yeah. I think the whole journey, I guess if anything goes to show with all of it is I've had to let go of so much stuff. I feel like I've been in a ball and I've slowly, like, almost like a yarn ball. And like, over the years, like, the yarn has slowly loosened and it's like becoming really soft and like, I was so rigid and so focused and so tight.

00:31:54:05 - 00:32:13:11

Unknown

Towns have always somebody like you who needs to chill out. It's like you're wound up like you need to chill out. But he's also like the most relaxed and nothing bothers him any time and like, I. Yeah, but I don't know how to be like, yeah, I can't do that. I don't know how to be that chill. But like, I want what you had, you know, he just had. I always had such a peace over him and such just like a calm.

00:32:13:11 - 00:32:32:10

Unknown

And it was just like, I don't know how to be like you, but it kind of worries you like you, but like, I want to be. You're crazy. Kind of weird. You know what? I love him, but yeah, but he. I mean, he's definitely been a big part of the journey of everything. Just like. And honestly, having kids as every child has humbled me on a whole different level because you've just.

00:32:32:10 - 00:32:47:12

Unknown

I've just had to let go of more and more and more, you know, with t it was like we were going to do this a certain way and we're going to do this a certain way. And then, you know, and it's like, okay, well, I don't actually have time to do that with you right now, but like, so I'm going to have to let you do something else because, you know, and then it's like, then I'm a Roman.

00:32:47:12 - 00:33:03:20

Unknown

It's like, oh, gosh, you know what? Their kids just like to play outside. It's fine. Yeah. They'll let them free range outside. They'll be fine. Go play with sticks, go dig in the dirt like I don't care. Yeah, it's fine. Like, that's what kids are for this just to play. It's how to die and so it's like, you know, it's just like all of this.

00:33:04:00 - 00:33:20:06

Unknown

Like, that's kind of like where I've come from. It's like being so rigid too. And I still get stressed out and whatever person, Yeah, I'm a person and I get overwhelmed and they drive me crazy, but I love them so much. But it's like all of that has almost felt like I've been part of the healing journey.

00:33:20:06 - 00:33:34:22

Unknown

Yeah, of the food too. Everything of everything. It's like, yeah, I feel like I can breathe again. Kind of. I feel like for so long it was like I was always holding my breath, Like I couldn't ever get a deep breath. And like, now it's like I feel like I can, like, kind of breathe. Yeah, like, I definitely.

00:33:35:02 - 00:33:55:23

Unknown

But, you know, I mean, yeah, it feels lighter. Yeah. That weight on. Yeah. Anymore. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. When you first started opening up and letting yourself kind of eat outside of that rulebook, did emotions like shame and guilt and like, challenging emotions come up? Oh, yeah. How did you deal with them? How did you get past that and continue?

00:33:56:11 - 00:34:33:17

Unknown

That's a good question. Probably not gracefully. I'm just really I don't I don't know now. I'm not like a super reflective person, so I don't always think about stuff when I'm in it telling that we're out of it. And so I've been becoming more reflective as having the boys so little and being like, Whoa, like time really goes so fast and so, like, focused like, like I've become more reflective, but so in that time, I definitely like eating those foods are like, not okay, me like sugar was like the devil back in the day for, like, truly.

00:34:33:20 - 00:34:54:00

Unknown

And so, like having to break that. I mean, it was, it was a straw goal and it kind of just went from like seasons of like binging more to like binging less and then kind of like less and then and kind of like what's on the bone one time in like four months there, it's only been two times and six months or like it started like spacing out a lot more.

00:34:54:00 - 00:35:15:01

Unknown

Yeah. And, but it was a slow healing. Like, I feel like when people are going through it, they just want to be fixed so quickly and nothing is fixed quickly ever. And it is painful and it's very hard. But I think having people that you can talk to and have in your corner is really important and again, like bringing light to darkness.

00:35:15:01 - 00:35:31:11

Unknown

But I mean, yeah, you do, you go through, I think a lot of shame and guilt because you have just like this picture in your brain of like how you should eat, whether it's right or wrong, it doesn't matter, but it's like then you like try to let go of those roles. And it's like, well, I can't like, I can't like that.

00:35:31:14 - 00:35:53:07

Unknown

Like I can't eat sugar. Don't you understand? Again, each other? Yeah, it's like, but you need to like and this is just an example. I'm not saying like whatever, but and so yeah, I think I definitely went through a lot of it. I don't really know how I coped. I don't know if like, I don't know if like, I definitely don't have any tips.

00:35:53:16 - 00:36:09:03

Unknown

Yeah, it was You were just like, in your way. Yeah, it was just kind of like making my way. Like. Like one day at a time. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. And I don't know if there is any, like, certain way I did it or if I did it. Well, good or bad, I don't know. But I'm out of that now.

00:36:09:08 - 00:36:38:03

Unknown

And you, Dan? I made it through effort. Probably like semi drowning my way through it. But like, here I am now. You got so thankful. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And it's been cool to hear how much your kids have helped, like, shift your evolution with food being such an integral part of your healing process. And I'm curious about like, maybe you thought about this, maybe you haven't, but how do I guess it was?

00:36:38:03 - 00:36:59:05

Unknown

Is it a conscious thing when, like, you approach food with your kids, like to pass on like different relationships with food for them so they can have, you know, not a similar experience, can feel more positive associations versus restrictive associations with food because a lot of it can come from like our upbringing. Oh yeah, Oh yeah, yeah. A lot of people did 100%.

00:36:59:05 - 00:37:17:22

Unknown

And, I look back now and realize my mom was just trying to do her best. Like I see now what she was doing. But the way we grew up was very, very, very restrictive. And so you would come over and we would. Yeah. If I had chocolate I would usually go home and probably throw up because that's the time out of each ice cream.

00:37:17:22 - 00:37:35:02

Unknown

My mom would be like, You always come home green and throw up. I'm like, Yeah, that's because I don't ever get you that. And I'd always ask, That's all The chef. And then I'd go to Minnie's and they had Joe naked and it was just like, Yeah, restriction definitely can lead to binging. I mean, it was, it was ingrained in me from a young, young age.

00:37:35:02 - 00:37:55:20

Unknown

I mean, I remember hiding in the pantry as a little girl and like, shoving, Oh, we only had Hershey chocolate, the lake. And I remember like Hershey chocolate and Jif and I would just like to eat. And that was like til I could, like, not eat it anymore. And like, looking back on, like, wow, like I really dealt with food problems, like from, like probably like eight or five, which is four And from your parents?

00:37:55:20 - 00:38:15:08

Unknown

S.A. It was like a very pure intention of like, they're not very good for my kids. I want And it's funny because I'm starting to feel that way about my kids, and it's like, Oh, wow. Like, you can see, like I was very intentional with T in the beginning because I didn't want him to ever think a cookie was good or bad.

00:38:15:08 - 00:38:34:16

Unknown

But then I do see and he was never really affected by anything. I was a little. But now, like as he gets older, we do notice and it's like people, like our family notices. It's like a night and day difference. But when he has food dye, he's a very hyperactive child, and when he has food dye, he is times a thousand.

00:38:34:21 - 00:38:56:15

Unknown

And it is insane. And it's so funny because I never wanted to be the mom that restricted anything from my kids. But there is a point where if something's not doing well, then, like, it's like, it's almost like my duty to like, yeah, we do let him have it here and there. But like, we noticed such a difference that so I try to buy stuff without food dye and he does a thousand times better.

00:38:56:15 - 00:39:13:05

Unknown

But like, I'm still not trying to restrict sugar . I don't want him to think like sugar is bad or some certain things are bad or good. Be honest. Like, have my kids, like, don't even eat vegetables right now. And I'm like, You know what? Oh, well, yeah, like maybe one day I always serve it. I always offer it.

00:39:13:05 - 00:39:30:14

Unknown

But I never , never, ever, ever tell them they have to eat, that they have to finish that because they might not be hungry. And I don't want to just stuff their stomachs if they're not hungry, like they know if they're hungry or not. Yeah, they're smarter than we are when it comes. Yeah. And like, yes, I get like, you want your kids to eat well and like, do all the stuff.

00:39:30:14 - 00:39:47:22

Unknown

And so, like, I do too, I get it. Like there's stuff I make that is healthier and like, has more nutrients in it so that I know they're getting some nutrients in there. But like, they really are kind of picky right now. And Noah is just picky because he does everything that he does, but like he's like the ringleader here and he like, set the tone for everybody.

00:39:47:22 - 00:40:10:15

Unknown

But it's just like I don't know, it's like trying to give them nutritious food with a bout with it. But I really think it's like his moderation, in my opinion. Like, yes, just not sure. Like Thomas, his family was very much raised in more of that moderation. Just like they never really protected restricted stuff and had it around.

00:40:10:15 - 00:40:27:13

Unknown

They all have much better relationships with food, especially at this point. But yeah, it's kind of just like I don't really want to stress about it too much. Yeah, I don't want food to be like that. I just want it to be like being in a community and enjoying it and like being around the table and sharing a meal together.

00:40:27:13 - 00:40:43:22

Unknown

I don't want it to be so much like what the meal is. It's just more about being together because everybody else has different funds and stuff too, and some can't afford more or less. And so it's like you don't do your best. Yeah, you know what I mean? I love that. It's about the experience.

00:40:43:22 - 00:41:01:11

Unknown

Yeah. Around food and having positive associations with a meal. Yeah, with eating, with. It's not good or bad. It's about this time. It's not really necessarily about what's on your plate. And I feel like that was so cultural back in the day. It's probably for you guys too. I mean, you guys probably like food. It's always like a big celebration, right?

00:41:01:11 - 00:41:22:00

Unknown

Yeah, for sure. And I mean, I remember my parents, like they would go to Tony Robbins seminars and come back and be like, Yeah, we're only eating raw greens, like, for the rest of eternity. And my grandparents would, like, sneak us into Burger King. Like, this ain't cool here. Yeah. Oh, I love it, you know? But then times where it would be I mean, if you look at my parent's cupboard now, it's totally different.

00:41:22:04 - 00:41:39:14

Unknown

Like, Yeah, but like, it is like such a celebration and yeah, it should be enjoyed together and it's like everything's so fast paced in the world these days and people are just like not eating as much together. And I just feel like it's so important to get back to the table and just like, eat like. If you can cook and cook it, great.

00:41:39:14 - 00:41:58:04

Unknown

If you can't get it I mean, like cooking doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be scientific, it doesn't have to be expensive. You buy what you can and the whole point is like, yeah, just not putting such an emphasis on what it is. Yes. Yes. We do try to eat more nutrient dense foods where we can and we do try to add in that stuff.

00:41:58:04 - 00:42:24:09

Unknown

But I don't want it to be such a stressor. Yeah, absolutely. There's like enough stuff in the world to stress about. Like food should be an enjoyment. It's like a pleasure. It's a joy, it's a gift. It's like, you know what I mean? And yeah, a much different perspective than I used to have. Well, it's similar to the sounds of your healing process of like right now when it comes to your kids, it's also about letting go of control of food and like it is because some days it's really a struggle.

00:42:24:09 - 00:42:42:19

Unknown

It's like you have not eaten like you need to eat something and it's like, well maybe they don't. Mm. And it's like, well, okay, I guess that's another thing. Thomas is always my sounding board and just always so calm, like he's like, they're not hungry. They're not hungry. It's like, Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay, okay, moving on, you know?

00:42:42:19 - 00:42:56:07

Unknown

And it's like, well, I guess that's fine. But yeah, we try to eat together as much as we can, but I think that it's just like, yeah, just try not to put so much, so much emphasis on it. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

00:42:58:21 - 00:43:35:04

Unknown

So before we end today, is there like one bit of advice you would give someone on just how to like maybe find that freedom with food? That's a good question. Let's see. I think, well, all of it in general I think is just really letting go. Yeah, but like, just like letting go one day at a time. Just like a little bit more And also like I, I used to always be so focused on like the end result and like, what's this week and next week and the next week, the month?

00:43:35:04 - 00:44:00:04

Unknown

And it's like, just focus on today, just one day at a time, and maybe don't even focus on the food, maybe focus on like, go take a walk outside. Like that was like a lot of the things I had to do instead of instead of I forgot about this, instead of like focusing on how do I fix my relationship with food, focus on something else, go grow a garden, go grow flowers, go walk outside, go, go, grow one pot of herbs, you know, find yourself, stop thinking of food.

00:44:00:04 - 00:44:19:19

Unknown

Yeah. And just and that's incredibly hard because when you're in that, you're, like, constantly. I mean, it's like. I mean, it's easier said than done to do that, but just like, instead of taking it in such a broad spectrum, like, just take it one day at a time and what is one thing you can do today that will take your mind off of it and like focus on something else?

00:44:19:19 - 00:44:38:12

Unknown

Because I think the more you do that, you'll realize, the more brain, the brain space is taken off of that and on to other things because that makes sense. Yeah, definitely. We stop like fixating or Yeah, yeah. And see the whole like, like look up, look around. You know what I mean? It's crazy. One day at a time.

00:44:38:13 - 00:45:04:00

Unknown

Yeah. Well, how can people support you and your work? I know that Thomas just wrote a book. Yes. So his book, Cookie Day. It's a children's book. And it's about, ironically, a mom and her daughter. We don't have girls making cookies in the kitchen. It was based off of my chocolate chip cookies. But it is his first book and a line of hundreds of ideas that he has.

00:45:04:14 - 00:45:21:13

Unknown

And he is all the other ones are like, so boy, adventure wise. But anyways, those will come one day. But for right now he has cookie day. It has three exclusive recipes in the back that are easy cookie recipes to make with your kids that don't include yours. So they're all mine. I made them all, but they're nowhere else except in the book.

00:45:21:13 - 00:45:34:21

Unknown

And why they're also so easy to make with kids. Because you don't have to soften the butter. You just melt it. You don't like it. They're very foolproof. It's very easy. Like instead, you know, it's like you can't mess up. They'll be good no matter what. Your kids will love them no matter what. There's like three different recipes.

00:45:35:15 - 00:45:58:18

Unknown

So I knocked on Amazon with a hard cover and a soft back. And then we have Instagram, Dad's Kitchen. We are on Tok that face. I say that when we just put our recipes, okay on there and we don't, we don't talk to anybody on TikTok. Sorry, I don't. Yeah. Anyway, TikTok is such a funny place to be anyway.

00:45:59:13 - 00:46:17:06

Unknown

Not going against TikTok, just saying our recipes are on there. So we are on TikTok and Instagram. We are. We do have a website. Daddy Intercom has all of our recipes and is everything a great place to go to when you're cooking? I use it. Thank you. Lots of baked goods at this hour to a lot of dinner.

00:46:17:06 - 00:46:49:08

Unknown

Tons of dinner recipes. That's like our bread and butter. It's in our recipes. So yeah, I think. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming over and playing with me as adults today. I know. I thank you for having me cook. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to how the wise one grows today. If this podcast has been impactful in your life, can you support it by following and subscribing to this podcast on your favorite streaming platform?

00:46:49:16 - 00:47:11:17

Unknown

This will make sure you never miss an episode. All you have to do is go to the show page for how the wise one grows and hit the plus or the follow button in the top right hand corner. While you're there, go ahead and leave a review, preferably a five star review, and share an episode with someone you love in your life.

00:47:11:17 - 00:47:31:03

Unknown

And if you want to support them even further, you can join the How the Wise One Grows Dream team and become a part of a group of magical people who support this podcast every month. And you'll even get a special shout out in an upcoming episode until the next time. Let's keep taking it one breath at a time.